I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
