just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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