i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
