u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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