Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
