how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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