That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
