I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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