I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This is not my ceiling
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
