You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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