She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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