Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
