I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
