So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
