please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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