Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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