I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
