If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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