Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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