Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need water and some morals
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
