Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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