I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
