i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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