is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
