Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
