I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
