P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
