Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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