So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
