you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
