I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
