Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
