she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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