Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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