I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
