I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
