If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
