Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
