i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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