If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
