Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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