just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
