Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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