I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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