i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
