awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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