this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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