I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
