I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
