I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
