GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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