I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just had sex on a roof
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
